Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Subconscious Sibling Rivalry From the Eldest




"Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!", says the whiny young Jan Brady, but nobody is really paying attention to her. It is either the most prettiest, athletic, smartest, or the eldest who get the attention and the spotlight inside the family circle.


In the olden golden days, the young ones were the shadow of the eldest. Parents always tell them to go in their room and do their homework. Whereas,the eldest are the first ones who sit in the "adult" table, and talk like an adult, and feeling like one; well,for at least a good solid 10 minutes until they realize they still can't drink alcoholic beverages like a real adult. But what if the table has turned and it is the eldest who envy the young one(s)?

I have a little sister and let me tell you publicly, I envy her. Not because she's the young version of me and sings better than me in the shower, but because she has the youth of time to correct herself when she sees and learns from the mistakes I make, and will be making. She has the opportunity to actually become the better version of me while I simply live with my errors and get older with them. It may sound silly, but it is my subconscious that is speaking of these such feelings. And I bet, if you're the eldest, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If not, enlighten me about your life.

My story: Our dad has a two door honda civic, and one time she was sitting at the passenger's seat and I had to sit at the back. I was hurt at first to be honest because I am one sensitive tigress, but I let it slide. But for the next couple of days, even weeks, I couldn't let that incident go. Questions after questions were running through my head: Why was she sitting at the front? I'm older then her and I should be sitting at the front, right? Omg, am I the black sheep of the family? Did I smell awful like a dead rotten fish that night?
While I was sitting alone in the dark at the back of a honda civic, right in front of me were these two people, strangers in my eyes, having conversations without even allowing me to be a part of.

I felt like the little one. I blamed no one but myself for allowing myself to make me feel that way. My friends tried to cheer me up by saying, "Hello, do you notice how the cool celebrities ride on the back seat? You are the cool celebrity in the family!" That surely made me feel "cool and awesome". In the end, it's nice to have such good friends, even when they're full of craziness and who are willing to say anything just to cheer you up.

As I think about that incident and many others, let the young ones have the attention and the spotlight. At least you, the eldest, will get away with so many things that your parents don't have to know about. Like getting a tattoo and not getting home till the wee hour of the tequila sunrise. It is normal for the eldest to envy the young ones, but not to the extent of hating yourself for it. Just think about the cool things you experienced before they do. I bet they envy you for that!
But in the end, I love my little sister. Even though I am not an awesome role model but in her eyes, it begs to differ. I think she loves me and I find that adorable.

Here are my lists of my pros and cons. What are yours?



PROS FOR BEING THE ELDEST:


1. You get to buy new clothes and had to hand them down to your siblings, whether they like it or not.

2. You get to do things first like driving a car and go partying.

3. Get to finish high school (they envy that the most).

4. Get to leave home!

5. Little eyes looking up to you with love.



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CONS FOR BEING THE ELDEST:

1. Parents rely on you too much to be the best to set an example.

2. SO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOU!!!

3. If you're a failure, your siblings won't look up to you as much.

4. Siblings think you're smart and have the answers to everything. Expecting you to help them with their projects and home works that you forget as soon as you graduated from high school.

5. Parents want you to graduate and get a job as early as possible so you can help them financially.



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